On Fatherhood

I was intending to write more about the Lord's Prayer (and I will be...!), but it's clear that a theme of fatherhood has arisen out of the first post and I want to write a bit about that as it weighs on my heart and mind quite a bit.

Ben wrote in the comments to "In the Beginning":

"...as I pray the Lord's prayer I also need to sort out who my real father is - the one in heaven. There is much my earthly dad has given me that contradicts God's values and attitudes towards me and I need to be consistently sorting out who's voiced am I listening/reacting to."

This is a critically important observation for two reasons: 1) Each one of us has a longing to hear the voice of the Father; To know Him. This, I believe, is innate and we find ourselves acting out of this longing whether we know it or not. 2) If we are priveleged enough to be fathers (which should be taken very broadly - I know men who walk in fatherhood, though they have no children of their own), we have been given an awesome responsibility. We are a representation of God to our children and our children's understanding of God will be colored by us. This should cause fear and trembling in any man and drive us to our knees ("Our Father in Heaven...!")

An Innate Longing
We were created to know and glorify the Father. Jesus prayed in John 17:2-4, "For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do." James writes in chapter 1:16-17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."

Eternal life is to know the Father (and the Son.) The Father has chosen to give us birth. Why? so that we may be a kind of firstfruits (the best) of all he created. That we may complete the work given us to glorify Him. The search for meaning in our lives comes out of a desire to know God. Our lives only truly make sense in the context of sons and daughters of God. Outside of that we risk idolatry or a divided heart. ("The spirit He put in us longs jealously", "Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, mind, soul and strength")

Romans 8:15-17 tells us "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship [adoption]. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."
...
"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. [v. 23]"

There is much that can be said about these verses, but the clear theme is that we are children of God (spirit of Sonship/wait eagerly for our adoption) As sons, daughters and co-heirs we need to know the Father!

An Awesome Responsibility
Fatherhood is an awesome responsibility. Not only do we have the temporal concerns of provision, teaching, discipline and raising, but we have an eternal responsibility to be a true representation of God to our children. As fallen people in a fallen world we will never be able to do this perfectly - in fact, we will be amazingly imperfect. This means we need to not only do our best to represent the Father, but we also need to admit to our children that we are NOT the Father. We need to have the humility to ask for forgiveness and to admit our imperfection. This does not excuse bad behavior, poor judgement or honest mistakes - on the contrary, it gives us an opportunity to demonstrate the grace and mercy of God in our lives.

I have to admit that I don't really know how to fulfill this responsibility. It's one of the advantages of being in a community of beleivers - we fathers are all struggling under the weight(glory) of fatherhood. Together we encourage, teach, pray for and admonish one another. We want our children to know God, we want them to learn to pray, we want them to embrace their faith as their own. My own son is only 1.5 years old, so how do I demonstate who God is to Him? Does "don't throw your peas on the ground!" somehow translate into a show of God's discipline? Maybe. I think part of faith is trusting God to use our mistakes, our weakness, our humanity as a learning tool. We're supposed to learn more from our mistakes, right?

I suppose this brings us back to the Lord's Prayer. A simple prayer that properly aligns us to God, that allows us to submit to Him and admit that He is Father and King. "YOUR kingdom come, YOUR will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven." Daily bread, forgiveness, guidance. Each one a necessity in our lives. Each one a necessity if we are to succeed as Fathers.

The Hearts of the Fathers
A sobering parting thought: Malachi 4:5-6 has a sober prophecy regarding fatherhood: "See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

First, the good news: The Spirit of Elijah will be sent to turn the hearts of Fathers to their children and the children's hearts to their fathers. We could certainly use the help - as I look around, I see both incredible examples of fatherhood but also incredible failures. I see resentful children and aloof fathers. I also see devoted children and loving fathers. Is there a tipping point? I think so.

Here's the bad news: If the fathers' and children's hearts aren't turned it's not going to go well for the land. Curses are not good things. I pray for the spirit of Elijah to fill us so that we may do everything in our power to turn fathers' hearts especially.

John the Baptist had that spirit: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth. Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." (Luke 1:14-17 italics added)

Can we go on before the Lord, in the power and the spirit of Elijah? I think we must. If we fail at fatherhood, if our hearts are not turned toward our children, we are doomed. Conversely, when hearts ARE turned, it is a tremendous blessing. Pray for the spirit of Elijah to come upon us.